Sorry, thanks, and the word that isn’t please
Malay has no exact please. It has something better.
The one line to remember
Boleh tolong bagi satu lagi?
Could you give me one more, please?
Sila is please on signs. Tolong is please in a person’s mouth — it literally means help, and putting it in front of a request makes it kind.
Add maaf for sorry, terima kasih for thanks, and the right title for the person, and you can be polite anywhere.
How it sounds
You and Abang
Read it, then hide the English and play it through. Tap a bubble for the word map.
Buying a drink at a mama shop. You drop a coin, then need a bag.
Malay
Bang, ni berapa?
English
Bro, how much is this?
Note
Abang (older brother) is how you address a man about your age or a bit older, clipped to bang. For a woman it’s kak, from kakak.
Malay
Satu lapan puluh.
English
One eighty.
Note
Prices are read as digits: dollars, then cents. Satu lapan puluh = $1.80.
Malay
Alamak. Maaf, maaf.
English
Oh no. Sorry, sorry.
Note
Alamak is the all-purpose oops. Maaf is sorry and excuse me; doubling it makes it lighter, not heavier.
Malay
Tak apa.
English
No worries.
Malay
Boleh tolong bagi plastik satu?
English
Could you give me a bag, please?
Note
Boleh tolong… is the polite frame. Boleh asks permission, tolong makes it a favour. Together they’re please without a please.
Malay
Boleh. Nak resit?
English
Sure. Want a receipt?
Malay
Tak payah. Terima kasih bang.
English
No need. Thanks, bro.
Malay
Sama-sama.
English
You’re welcome.
Lines to keep
Pocket these
The ones worth saying out loud on the way there.
- neutral
Terima kasih.
Thank you.
Literally receive love. Between friends, just kasih or thanks.
- neutral
Sama-sama.
You’re welcome.
- neutral
Maaf.
Sorry. Excuse me.
- casual
Tak apa.
It’s fine. Never mind.
- polite
Boleh tolong?
Could you help me?
- polite
Tumpang lalu.
Excuse me, coming through.
For a packed train or a narrow aisle.
- casual
Sorry, tak sengaja.
Sorry, I didn’t mean to.
Who are you talking to?
Bang, ni berapa? / Terima kasih kak.
The title goes first or last. It replaces the pronoun — you never need awak with it.
- bang / abang · man about your age or a bit older
- kak / kakak · woman about your age or a bit older
- pakcik / uncle · older man
- makcik / auntie · older woman
- adik · anyone clearly younger
Watch out
Three things to know
The small things that give a beginner away.
Sila lives on signs
Sila beratur (please queue), sila tunggu (please wait). You’ll read it everywhere. You’ll almost never say it.
Tak apa can be a question
Tak apa? with a rising tone = is it okay? Tak apa. flat = it’s fine. Same words, different job.
Sorry is Malay now
Younger Malays in Singapore say sorry as often as maaf. Both are fine. Maaf is the one for makcik and pakcik.
Quick check
Three questions
No account, no score kept. Just see if it stuck.
Question 1
You want to ask a shopkeeper for a spoon, politely.
Question 2
Someone bumps you and says Maaf. You reply…
Question 3
You need to squeeze past people on a packed train.
Try it with Aiman
Reading is the easy part. Now say it.
You’re at a mama shop buying two drinks and you’ve forgotten your bag. Ask for a plastic bag, then pay.
Paste this as your first message. Aiman sets the scene, replies in Malay, and keeps English on the side.